One Unhappy Simon
Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:17 PM
When I spoke with the daughter she said that her mother had probably experienced food poisoning, as last Monday she had suddenly started feeling unwell and had even been sick.
Its all come as a shock to me, as we'd known each other for 25+ years and my friend (who read Tarot Cards and used other psychic abilities professionally) had always said that she expected to reach 90, if not more, and whilst I never knew her exact age I think it was something like 70. In meditation in her early 20's she had the 'cosmic consciousness' experience, and she loved discussing metaphysical topics with people who were open to this (not all are.. some still scoff).
Just before Christmas she discovered that her website was receiving so many hits that if she added commercial advertising she'd start receiving money from people clicking the adverts.This was planned to be done 'anytime now'. In addition she'd just been offered a part-time job teaching black & white photography printing (in a darkroom) to students aged 20(ish) and was so looking forward to doing this as it would mean that she'd be with people during the day. Many years ago she used to be a professional photographer and would develop / print all her own films.
Anyway, the fragility of life... one never knows one day to the next.
Feels like a light has gone out from my life, leaving a vacuum, and as she used to tell me that I too would be around for many years more to come so her sudden unexpected passing has made me wonder about my own longetivity!
(well horizons have changed, but maybe not in the way intended for this board)
Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:45 PM
...Think you speak for many of us, who've had these great friendships and role model kindred people in our lives...and their loss unexpected leaves us in tears and anguish not to mention the 'wondering' of all the basic 'life' questions.
There will be many here, more than grateful for you wanting to share your feelings, and tell us about this relationship. I'm one of them of course. Been there, and more than once...so can empathize with what you must be going through. It may not help, since each person feels/experiences his/her own grief and sorrow. My sentiments are well meant though.
Long term acquantances especially make it difficult to fathom, as to why so suddenly it ends without a 'word' or expectation. In time, we probably each time adjust to it after the initial event...but 'it' never goes away. And still, we will look back, check and reflect on the many memories and carings.
I wish you well in the short period, for it seems lonely...though you may share it with her daughter and others who knew her well. I feel the heartfelt of this all for you, and say to myself in similar dreary helplessness feelings of the times...'Let her spirit soar'.
Look for a passing visit from her. Stay alert for it. They come you know. I even had pet cats/dogs who 'passed', and could feel them padding and indenting the bed at night...even coming in 'for a cuddle' or a last goodbye before 'going where they do'.
Just some thoughts...because we all need them at times, when we can only mourn. There is more Simon/'S'
Posted 29 January 2013 - 06:07 PM
I hardly know the daughter - she lives many miles away with boyfriend / husband.
I was hoping that eventually my friend would join this site... she was not really into computers and only started to embrace them when she was told intuitively that she should be doing so. She did not want to know about any chat forums and primarily used the Internet as a business tool.
Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:57 PM
...Would truly be interested in how you are NOW coping with this loss?
Had there been any one to turn to...or group, or even those who know you who would lend an ear and discuss and help you with this?
Would definitely like to know more of the 'lady' involved, and what she meant to you in so many ways...other than you have mentioned.
Posted 04 February 2013 - 11:12 PM
Well I've come to terms with Val's passing (at least I think I have). It does feel very much as if a bright light has gone out from my life, someone who knew me better than I do and with whom I could discuss things about which few others would even care. For instance: we were both the same blood group and my friend once sent me something about an intolerance to wheat products that results in a person's stomach swelling up... this being something that she thought I suffer from (and I agreed). My blood family think this is rubbish!
She often told me things that would be considered confidential, although especially with respect of computers things like passwords were things I needed to know, as for many years I would 'drive' the computer for her, until she mastered it for herself.
She had a friend (named Jim) who for many years was a paying lodger in her house, and Jim nicknamed me 'helicopter head' was I would 'fly in' and 'fly out' on my way home from work. Typically I'd arrive at about 6pm and leave at about 7.30pm, but it was a symbiotic arrangement as Valerie had her emails collected for her and I avoided the truly dire traffic on London's North Circular Road! Valerie and Jim would go for long walks on Sundays, until that is a few years ago when one weekday he took an unplanned day off work (which was not at all like him) and then went missing... He was later found dead in a rural location. It seems that he had been feeling unwell and died whilst out trying to get some fesh air. I think Valerie never really recovered, emotionally.
Below is a link to a short 'news' article about her death. For some of those years (when I was unemployed) I would take Valerie to these events...
I dont yet know why she died... could have been 'natural causes' / norovirus / ? Not old age, as (I think) she was in her early 70's. She did have a bout of pneumonia this time last year, which saw her spending a few weeks in hospital.
Anyway, her funeral is this coming Saturday at 11am, but I have something else prebooked and cannot go. Which is a shame. Her daughter specially chose Saturday so that people would not need to take time off work, alas I would have been willing to lose a day's pay to attend her funeral.
Valerie had a website where she tried to sell photos she'd taken and was so looking forward to adding commercial advertising because apparently the website was attracting so many visitors that she could expect to receive a modest income just from people visiting it. She only learnt this just before Christmas. Google Adsense pay out when US$100 a month has been earnt.
But, she always said that she did not want to live in a world that was suffering significant geophysical upheaval, and she has got what she wanted. She did not understand when I said that it would only be for a few years and then things would really start getting much better... the world she was hoping for when she was a 'flower power' girl of the 1960's really would be coming to fruition.
Anyway, thats all I can say at present, as I have a day job (was paid last week, for the first 2 weeks of work!) and need to crash out before midnight.
ps: I hear that mid March might be exciting... http://psychicfocus....ou-see-any.html
Edited by simple simon, 04 February 2013 - 11:17 PM.
Posted 08 February 2013 - 01:05 AM
...That's a wealth of information and Links...plus genuine 'Sentiment' and personal things. Puts one in the picture, and where YOU seem to be with this at the moment.
I thank you for all this, the effort to explain feelings/relationships, the Links which do back up your statements and feelings, and your use of intimate adjatives.
Please know...it is more in perspective now, for those interested in knowing. AND, you've done quite a memorial here/'S'
Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:22 PM
She often said to me that she did not want to be here during a period of significant global upheavals, so subconciously must have decided that it was time to 'check-out'. I also wonder whether as a flower-power girl of the 1960's she had given up on the dream that the world she had hoped to see (as described in the song Age of Aquarius) would ever materialise. Which is a shame.
She died from a massive heart attack during her sleep, which actually is (for the person concerned) is a nice way to go. Especially when compared with the near 'living hell' which some people experience when they become infirm and need constant nuring care.
From the human ego point of view I'd like to give her a piece of my mind for quiting and running, but I have to assume that what happened was her choice and therefore I must honour that decision.
Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:50 PM
Maybe she was right then...to 'exit' as she willed it/wanted it to be. It does show the power of 'desire' and the human spirit to 'choose' outcomes.
Yes...she nicely missed the suffering of 'extended care' and a progressive debilitating slide to death.
You've given a grand testimony to her...thanks/'S'